Everything You Need To Know About The Gemini In Your Life

Gemini are fun people to be around and are typically the life of any group they are in. They are curious, vibrant people who love life and exude happiness. They can be fickle and spacey but that’s just the cost of having so many interests and passions.

Summary

Gemini Dates

May 21 – June 21

Gemini Sign

Twins

Gemini Ruling Planet

Mercury

Gemini Zodiac quality

Mutable

Gemini Element

Air

Gemini Positive Traits

Friendly, Curious, Happy

Gemini Negative Traits

Fickle, Flakey, Not dependable

Gemini Personality Traits

Gemini is often striving to integrate socially while also striving to break away from societal authority. Despite being very outspoken, they are not the most rebellious sign. They simply revel in their individuality, and value their own personal freedom above everything else. When they need to be around others, they will make that happen; and when they need to get away, they will cater to that. They live through both extremes. Geminis are very excitable when it comes to change because they tend to bore easily. They will always prefer to search for excitement rather than stay home on a weekend and enjoy simple pleasures.

Gemini’s absolutely love going out and looking for trouble to get in with a pair of really good friends. To them, trouble means adventure, and daring innovation. They consider searching for a little excitement will lead to a lot of fun, and many amazing stories to recount when they reveal the escapades to others who were unable to join them.

Geminis are full of nervous energy, and are always trying to burn it off. Therefore, they are attracted to activities that produce a sense of exaltation within them. If they could fly they would. Instead, Geminis focus on travel, and many forms of travel appeal to them. They love bikes, skates, cars and motorcycles, though they get bored of long road trips. Geminis need a constant change of pace and direction.

The Gemini is known to be the diversifier in its group of friends. They liven up every social situation with their very vibrant personality, and their flow of ideas. However, their leadership comes with absolutely no accepted responsibility or obligation or loyalty to the group they choose to spend their time with. Geminis are very non attached creatures, and will always go where the fun is.

Gemini Compatibility

A Gemini is thoughtful, very charming, compelling and quite dreamy. They need a match who is as deep as they are someone who will cater to their love of knowledge and conversation. They like free thinkers, and people who respect them. An Aquarius will not be afraid of meeting them in their depths, while stimulating the dreamy conversation and an insightful lifestyle. Together, the Gemini and the Aquarius would thrive as a true meeting of the minds.

Gemini Compatibility Chart

Gemini and Aries Compatibility: Aries and Gemini make an exciting couple that is always out of the house doing something fun together. They are the opposite of the “Netflix + Chill” homebody couple. Their Instagram feed makes most people exhausted, but they love living an active, adventurous life together.

Gemini and Taurus Compatibility: A Taurus prizes loyalty and stability above all else, which feels stifling to any Gemini they date. Similarly, a Taurus finds Gemini’s ways chaotic and unpredictable. These signs stress each other out!

Gemini and Gemini Compatibility: If there was a “most likely to end up stranded in a foreign country” superlative for Zodiac couples the Gemini + Gemini pairing would get it. Their relationship will have problems, but all from the outside as they work to navigate the practical world as people who aren’t really detail oriented. Their actually relationship, however, will be full of happiness and excitement — they’ll love being unencumbered and totally themselves with someone who (finally) isn’t trying to reign them in.

Gemini and Cancer Compatibility: Cancers primarily value their home life and the foundation of support they build with their partner while Geminis thrive on *not* needing a foundation (which means they’d be stuck in one place for way too long). This sets up an uphill battle for couples because they aren’t a natural pairing — HOWEVER — this can make it all the more special when it *does* work.

Gemini and Leo Compatibility: Gemini and Leo are the couple you know who have the most fun together. They are always making big plans and making each other laugh. The little things will fall through the cracks as neither person in this pairing is great at “adulting”, but they’ll be having too much fun to notice.

Gemini and Virgo Compatibility: These two will drive each other CRAZY. The Gemini will feel like a child to the Virgo and the Virgo will feel like an overbearing parent to the Gemini. Their friendship and romantic compatibility is almost zero.

Gemini and Libra Compatibility: These two make great friends and exciting and happy lovers. They are naturally compatible and like to spend their time the same way (around people, having fun). They are a social couple who other couples aspire to be like.

Gemini and Scorpio Compatibility: This pair is almost too alike that they don’t work. They each can be really stubborn and cold. They never think they are wrong and struggle in owning up to it when they are. Their fights are always very intense. While they each have an acid tongue they tend to say things they later regret.

Gemini and Sagittarius Compatibility: This pair fall very hard for each other. It’s the love they each remember in their lives. While it starts off as a healthy relationship where everything is balanced and reciprocated, a Sag begins to emotional rely too heavily on a Gemini that a Gemini ends up resenting them and calling it off. They walk away still with a lot of respect but for a Sagittarius it’s the hardest heartbreak they will get over in their life.

Gemini and Capricorn Compatibility: This couple can make it work even though they aren’t naturally compatible. Gemini can draw Capricorn out of their conservative shell, and Capricorn can provide the structure Gemini needs in order to truly thrive. As long as they are patient with each other and their differences, they can make a great couple.

Gemini and Aquarius Compatibility: These two make better friends than lovers, but they get along swimmingly. They are both exciting people who love to explore new ideas. They have non-stop conversation and keep each other interested in what can be a very passionate relationship.

Gemini and Pisces Compatibility: Gemini + Pisces balance each other out very well. While a Pisces is very emotional and deep a Gemini is very compassionate and understanding of their needs. A Pisces has no shame in being exactly who they are and following how they feel while a Gemini tends to play the role of what someone needs them to be and makes the choices that seem logical. What each side needs the other seems to be.

How To Attract A Gemini

If you want to attract a Gemini, dress to impress. They love a sharp fashion sense and are always checking out those who take care of themselves physically. Their own physical appearances say a lot about them, so they are often attracted to a partner that cares just as much about what image they are projecting.

How To Know If A Gemini Likes You

If a Gemini likes you, they will not stop talking to you. They will ask questions, make conversation, and keep the momentum going. It is often said that a Gemini tells you that they like you with their eyes — they will be absorbed by you, and will stare deeply at you. Though they will try to play it cool, if a Gemini is paying more attention to you than others, you can be sure that they like you. The usually don’t waste time with people who do not intrigue them. They will be touchy, and will often whisk you off of your feet when you least expect it. However, you must be wary of the Gemini. They are known players, often leading people on for the fun and adventure of it all.

How Gemini Are In A Relationship

Dating a Gemini is a thrilling experience. They are full of fun, and always up for learning and gaining the most out of every situation. They are natural born flirts, and the banter with them will keep you on your toes and laughing for the duration of your relationship. However, when they do choose you, know that they have chosen you for a reason. A Gemini does not get into a relationship until they have met their match intellectually and energetically. They have had plenty of practice, and they are known to get around, so when they do settle down, they are very self assured and absolutely compelled by their choice. In order to stay happy in a relationship, a Gemini needs change, stimulation and excitement. If you can give that to one, they will be yours for life.

Gemini Ideal Date

A Gemini is thirsty for knowledge. They always want to learn new things. An ideal date would stimulate this aspect of their personality. Take them out to watch the premiere of a new documentary, and then afterwards plan to go for drinks so you can chat about everything you noticed and absorbed from the film. They will be stimulated the whole night.

How Gemini Are In The Bedroom

A Gemini will always shake it up in the bedroom. You will never know what is coming next. They adore having their arms and their thighs touched. They are all over the place in regards to their sexual style, ranging from making love to you to being absolute filthy animals underneath the sheets. Expect an adventure if you choose to sleep with a Gemini.

How Gemini Deal With Heartbreak

A Gemini will act like they do not care when their heart is broken. They will never take on any responsibility for the ending of the companionship, and will always blame the other person for being unworthy, ill-equipped. This stems from their extremely superficial and prideful personality. They will likely set out to find someone better for them, searching for the next upgrade they can sink their teeth into instead of coping emotionally.

How Gemini Are As Friends

A Gemini is often considered to be the social connector in the group. They bring together a lot of different people, merging different friendship cliques and creating inclusive companionships. Whenever a Gemini is around, there will always be laughter and fun. However, a Gemini can be an extremely flaky friend, and they will never commit to a plan because they are always worried that something better will come up. Though they have large circles of friends, if a Gemini calls you their best friend, you can be sure that you are one of very few close people in their life.

How To Gain The Respect Of A Gemini

A Gemini will respect you if you are well spoken, well dressed, and if you have a wit to you. They appreciate banter and think that those who can shell it out are intelligent and superior to those who cant.

How Gemini Are When They’re Mad

A Gemini is the most talkative sign in the Zodiac, so it comes as no surprise that they tend to get mad and dish out their anger in the form of screaming, shouting, and cursing. They know how to break someone down using words, and they will not hesitate to do so. When you get the other side of an angry Gemini, they can be levelheaded and calm, using extremely mean and cutting language to almost passively hurt you deeply. They always go right for the jugular. If you judge a Gemini, or if you tell them what to do, expect to get verbally assaulted.

How Gemini Are When They’re Sad

When sad, a Gemini gets very quiet. However, inside their mind is racing, as they completely consume themselves in a bout of overthinking. They absolutely hate being sad, and refuse to allow themselves to feel morose, often disassociating and detaching in order to forget about their sensitivities.

Simple Things That Make An Gemini Happy

It’s quite simple — a Gemini is happy when they are validated, especially on an emotional level. They love knowing that their input is appreciated.

Gemini At Their Best

At their best, a Gemini is strongly adaptable and resourceful. They are always good at what they put their mind to, and they are ridiculously intelligent. They are so much fun, and they inspire people to live their lives to the fullest.

Gemini At Their Worst

At their worst, a Gemini is often all over the place. They can be scatter-brained, and often won’t correct themselves if they do happen to make mistakes. They will never apologize, and will shout if someone calls them out for being a little hardened to judgement.

What Gemini Fear The Most

The main facet of any Gemini personality is expression. Therefore, they often fear not being able to express themselves fully. They are scared that they will be blocked from following their passions, and often worry that they aren’t as talented or intelligent as they think they are.

Gemini Likely Occupations

A Gemini loves intellectual, stimulating work. They work best in fast paced, high pressured environments where they will be required to work on many different things. A job that requires a Gemini to travel or network will be perfect for the constantly adventuring and social twin. They would make great stockbrokers, architects and teachers.

Gemini Likely Health Concerns

The Gemini in your life is rule by their lungs and their respiratory system. When working the way they do, Gemini’s must slow down and nurture their physical body, because they can often deplete their energy and suffer from collapsed lungs, colds, bronchitis and asthma. Meditation is the best form os preventative medicine for a Gemini, for it relaxes them and allows for them to reconnect with their breathing.

Where To Take A Gemini On Vacation

Geminis love to roam freely, and they need a lot of stimulation from the places they decide to explore. Big cities appeal to them, and a place like London is an amazing fit for a Gemini because they would have an array of options to choose from. They can drink all they want, explore museums, look at incredible landmarks, order room service from a swanky hotel, or simply just take in the city’s beautifully vibrant nature.

Gemini Learning Style

A Gemini needs to talk about anything they are learning. Whether it is talking through a lecture, or talking about something they saw in a movie that they want to figure out in their brain — they need to be able to thin out loud. Verbally repeating information and sharing that conversation with others who can challenge them with questions and stimulate their knowledge, is the best way for a Gemini to learn.

Gemini Humor

Quick on the uptake, they remember jokes really well and can laugh at just about anything, This sign is most prone to making fun of someone, but not in a mean way, it’s usually because they’re interested.

The Gemini loves humour. They remember a lot of jokes and can laugh about anything. They will however, never hesitate to make fun of someone. It is usually never mean, instead it is often seen as being playful and flirtatious.

Gemini Favorite Pastime

Talking. Literally, just talking.

What To Say To Motivate Your Gemini

You are filled with fire — do not let anyone put that out inside of you. You have the capacity to make everyone around you laugh, you are interesting, and you have an incredible energy to you. You are the epitome of fascinating.

If A Gemini Were…

A Starbucks Drink: Salted Caramel Mocha
A Colour: Baby Blue
A Greek God: Athena — Goddess of intelligence, skill, peace and warfare
An Addiction: Smoking
An Alcoholic Beverage: Beer
A Drug: Salvia
In A High School Clique: Debate Club Kids
A City: Tokyo, Japan
A Harry Potter House: Gryffindor
An Untranslatable French Word: Épater — to wow, to stun, to amaze!
A Kiss: Playful
A Teen Movie: Bring It On
A Clothing Item: Summer Dress
A Famous Landmark: The Colosseum
A Season: Spring

Everything You Need To Know About The Aries In Your Life

Aries Personality Traits

An Aries is very primal in nature due to being born as the first sign in the Zodiac. They tend to resist analysis or attempts to explain them, and represent the ego and free will in its purest form.

An Aries is energetic and commanding, fiery and prophetic. They are referred to as the dynamo because they are so progressive and compelling. They will always simply choose to exist how they are, rather than try to understand why they feel what they do and act how they do through the eyes of others. This self assured nature causes an Aries to become upset and overwhelmed when people do not see them the way they see themselves.

Like young children, an Aries often tends to be spontaneous, frank and open, but also self-centered and willful. Also like a child, they approach the world with an optimistic innocence.

Known to be natural adventurers, an Aries will always feel a strong impulse to explore. They are also very fond of being the star wherever they go, and they shine very brightly in social situations. Their ego never needs the approval of others, as they are so self assured, but they do demand that those around them pay attention to them, because they know how much they have to offer others. An Aries that does not slow down, and introspect on their actions and feeling, often runs the risk of breaking down emotionally when their self-confidence is undermined by those who do not listen, or give them the time of day.

Always known to be physical, the competitive Aries will need to explore their limits in order to feel like they are growing. They always need to be in action, and prefer it over introspection. They will not ruminate over a problem or a situation, they will swiftly try to problem solve and quickly deal with everything the best way they see fit. When their attempts produce bad results, or if they are delayed in any way from jumping into action, an Aries will suffer. This is often why they choose to withdraw from life periodically, giving them the ability to study and figure out a problem from a distance, with no risk of being talked out of action or convinced that they are wrong.

An Aries has a very, very strong desire to lead. However, some people born on this month manifest that desire and do not take the right steps to nurture it. Some will feel so strongly about being first, and they will not focus on being a leader, which causes them to come off as selfish and unfit. This causes them to feel frustrated, and even guilty. They will often hold within them a very intense form of self pity. However, when an Aries takes their leadership skills, and puts aside the need to bolster through life, they are truly the most idealistic, original and successful sign of the Zodiac.

Aries Compatibility

An Aries is very loving, curious, thrilling, and outspoken. They are best suited for people who will know how to cool them down when they get a little too fiery. However, they cannot be restricted, so they are most compatible with a sign that is a great balance of independence and compassion. A Gemini will bring an Aries all of the vitality and adventure they need in a relationship, while still appealing to their need for knowledge and their inquisitive nature.

Aries Compatibility Chart

Aries and Aries Compatibility: Aries and Aries will have a solid foundation of fun and friendship. They will challenge each other and know how to keep the other one interested, but they’ll lack the balance and depth of being paired with someone who complements then rather than replicating them.

Aries and Taurus Compatibility: An Aries will be annoyed that homebody Taurus likes to relax more than adventure out into the world, and the Taurus will be annoyed that they aren’t in control of the relationship. These two have both different values anddifferent personalities, so it’s hard for them to get too close and feel like they have a real connection.

Aries and Gemini Compatibility: Aries and Gemini make an exciting couple that is always out of the house doing something fun together. They are the opposite of the “Netflix + Chill” homebody couple. Their Instagram feed makes most people exhausted, but they love living an active, adventurous life together.

Aries and Cancer Compatibility: This is a difficult relationship as the Aries will always feel slowed down by their Cancer and the Cancer will always feel like they can’t relax around the Aries. They have different values and different dispositions — and not necessarily in a complementary way. However, with the right people this relationship can work — the Aries will inject excitement into the Cancer’s life and draw them out of their shell and the Cancer will help the Aries venture into their own minds and get in touch with their emotional needs.

Aries and Leo Compatibility: Aries and Leo are natural allies and make great friends. They love to try new things together, go on adventures, be silly, and challenge themselves. As a couple, they’d have the most jealousy-inducing Instagram of all time.

Aries and Virgo Compatibility: This is a natural pairing of two complementary people. The Aries will pick the adventure, and the Virgo will plan it out. They will challenge and balance each other and genuinely make the other person’s life better.

Aries and Libra Compatibility: This is a relationship of two Alphas which can make it pretty challenging, but when it works they are a force to be reckoned with. They will be a power couple with a lively (and large) group of friends they adore.

Aries and Scorpio Compatibility: This is a toxic combination. Each hotheads. Each get angry very quickly. And each are very competitive. They each strive to be the dominant ones in relationships and fight for power. They each come across as overly confident and a little too blunt sometimes so the things that do come out of their mouth when fighting aren’t nice.

Aries and Sagittarius Compatibility: These signs make a fun-loving couple who are always making each other laugh. They have a ton of inside jokes and prefer to keep things in their lives light and happy. They have a big circle of friends and are always planning fun things for everyone to do.

Aries and Capricorn Compatibility: There’s not a lot that Aries and Capricorn have in common, and both types aren’t the kind of person to slow their roll for someone else. Capricorn is more conservative and wants to protect what they put out into the world more than Aries look-before-you-leap nature allows them to. Aries’ least favorite thing in the world is feeling like someone is holding them back, so they’ll struggle with Capricorn trying to control them.

Aries and Aquarius Compatibility: These two will get lost in conversation with each other a lot, they have nights where they stay up until the sunrise talking long into their relationship. They’re on the same mental level and they both have a lot of interests and things that excite them. They’ll be able to build a solid foundation of friendship to build a relationship on.

Aries and Pisces Compatibility: This combination isn’t the strongest as they struggle in communication. A Pisces might drop hints about what they want and need but they will never straight up say it. An Aries needs that clarity which they don’t get. In a relationship with a Pisces one has to be able to read people very well but with an Aries they seem to overlook that. This couple fails because each person just can’t figure out or fake being what the other person needs.

How To Attract An Aries

An Aries needs to chase the apple of its eye, so the best way to attract one would be to play hard to get. Not only will this peak their interest, it will cater to their need for competition. Getting you as a prize will be rewarding, but be sure to give them the chance to catch you. If not, the Aries will get discouraged and move on to a fresh, new conquest.

How To Know If An Aries Likes You

An Aries will try to touch you a lot if they like you, so expect a lot of hugs. As a naturally competitive person, you will be challenged by an Aries. If they like you they will want you to prove yourself by playing one of their games, so accept the challenge and stand your ground. If an Aries gets upset or jealous when they see you flirting with someone else, you can be sure that they are interested in you. An Aries will often think about you, and will therefore ask you questions about your day; they will want to know what is going on in your general life. This is their way of keeping up with you, and showing an interest in you. However, the great thing about an Aries is that they will often just tell you that they are fond of you — they tend to be quite straightforward.

What Aries Are Like In A Relationship

An Aries is insanely flirtatious, and they will always take initiative when it comes to romancing the person they are interested in. They are filled with passion and a need for adventure, and they bring a lot of excitement and energy to a relationship. Once in love, an Aries will be committed for life. The best, most long lasting relationships for an Aries always incorporate spice and activities that keep their fire burning. Every single day with an Aries will be different and filled with thrills, and they will make sure that their love will never be boring or average.

Aries Ideal Date

An Aries is the epitome of spontaneous, so a surprise trip would be the absolute best date in their books. They admire people who help them to experience new things, so changing up their routine and doing something out of the ordinary is always exciting for an Aries. Choose a place they have never been, and don’t plan anything. Explore together, learn together, and simply have fun living in the moment. They will absolutely love it.

Aries In The Bedroom

An Aries will keep you guessing. Always. You will never know what they are going to do next, and they tend to be quite bold, rough and dominant. Due to their competitive nature, they will like to challenge themselves in bed, and won’t stop until they please you.

How Aries Deal With Heartbreak

An Aries will never admit that they care when a relationship ends. However, they truly do. Underneath their strong, brash nature, is an underlying lack of confidence and a fear that they may be unworthy of love. They will work to convince everyone around them that they are doing just fine, and they will often commit to a lot of new things in order to forget about how hurt they are.

How Aries Are As Friends

Having an Aries best friend means that you are going to have a lot of fun, as they are the epitome of playful and adventurous. The most normal, boring day will turn into something spectacular with them. Highly observant, nothing will ever get past an Aries, so do not deceive or lie to them. Befriending an Aries means that you are in store for a loft of sarcastic, witty humour, and though they may joke around a lot, an Aries will always respect and appreciate you. They are some of the most loyal friends in the Zodiac.

How To Gain The Respect Of An Aries

An Aries love a straight shooter, and an independent person. If you have a life outside of your friendship or relationship with an Aries, they will respect you deeply.

How Aries Are When They’re Mad

Aries are babies, to put it bluntly. They will explode and never think about how their words and actions affect the people around them. They will never sugar coat their feelings, and will often verbally hurt people they care about in order to protect their pride. If an Aries is angry with you, simply staying quiet and not reacting to their reactive state is the best possible way to cool them down. They will calm down quickly, and they will often feel extremely guilty for getting out of hand.

How Aries Are When They’re Sad

You know an Aries is sad when they don’t get worked up about things that would normally make them angry. As a very reactive person, when sad an Aries will skip the rage, and often turn to impulsivity. They will be noticeably toned down, with less vigor, and less energy than usual.

Simple Things That Make An Aries Happy

An Aries loves being listened to, especially when they don’t ask for it. They like when people take notice of what they need. When they don’t feel very good about themselves, being around a good friend, or doing something athletic, will always make an Aries happy.

Aries At Their Best

An Aries is knowledge seeking, and a born leader. They are so much more than they appear to be, and will always be able to take on many roles and forms in their relationships. They will always be the happy, optimistic one when things get tough, and inspire people in that sense to see the bright side of things.

Aries At Their Worst

An Aries tends to be rude. They revert to using bad language and insults when provoked in any situation, and will always play the devil’s advocate. They tend to use their strengths in the wrong ways, which is why they are often so internally conflicted.

What Aries Fear The Most

An Aries is conflicted all the time. They want adventure, but they also want peace. They don’t want a boring life, but they want to make sure that their relationships and companionships are long lasting and not just fleeting. Their insecurity causes them to live in perpetual fear of being broken up with, or left by a best friend.

Likely Occupations For Aries

An Aries is extremely competitive and strong willed. Their vibrant nature and enthusiasm allows for them to excel in commission based jobs. Their impulsive tendencies often cause them to be fearless and brave, setting them up to be police officers, firefighters, and other everyday heroes. An Aries would also make an amazing entrepreneur, soldier, or politician.

Likely Health Concerns For Aries

An Aries is ruled by their head. Therefore, they are prone to headaches and very painful migraines. An Aries on the go is often stressed, prone to accidents, and their bodies are usually beat up and in need of rest.

Where To Take An Aries On Vacation

An Aries will always enjoy going somewhere they have never been. However, they are so competitive, they often want to vacation somewhere under the radar. If you want to take an Aries on vacation, take them to an obscure island — somewhere you can barely find on a map. Make sure this place boasts a lot of things to physically challenge the Aries, like mountains, cliffs, etc.

Aries Learning Style

An Aries learns through their experiences. They jump right into unchartered territory, and that impulsivity teaches them everything they need to know. As a sign that thirsts for knowledge, an Aries will never back down from learning something new.

Aries Kind Of Humor

An Aries has a very goofy and physical approach to humour. They are extremely witty and are some of the funniest people in the Zodiac.

Aries Favorite Pastime

Anything athletic, or competitive. An Aries is also fond of singing and joking around — karaoke is a guilty pleasure!

What To Say To Motivate Your Aries

Don’t ever forget just how strong you are — in your mind, in your emotions and physically. You have the ability to move mountains with your heart, and your words, because you operate on such a level of extreme passion. Don’t ever lose touch of that. You are capable of so much, and you will always come out on top if you just remind yourself of that every single day.

If An Aries Were…

A Starbucks Drink: Eggnog Latte
A Colour: Bright Red
A Greek God: Zeus — King and father of the Gods. The Ruler of lightning, thunder.
An Addiction: Caffeine
An Alcoholic Beverage: Vodka & Redbull
A Drug: Steroids
In A High School Clique: Jocks
A City: Chicago, Illinois
A Harry Potter House: Slytherin
An Untranslatable French Word: Cartonner — something that has had huge success
A Kiss: Rough
A Teen Movie: Mean Girls
A Clothing Item: Leather Jacket
A Famous Landmark: Mount Everest
A Season: Summer

Summary

Aries Dates

March 21 – April 19

Aries Sign

Ram

Aries Ruling Planet

Mars

Aries Zodiac quality

Cardinal

Aries Element

Fire

Aries Positive Traits

Energetic, Independent, Adventurous

Aries Negative Traits

Self-centered, Shallow, Rude

Everything You Need To Know About The Capricorn In Your Life

Summary

Capricorn Dates

December 21 – January 20

Capricorn Sign

Fish–goat hybrid

Capricorn Ruling Planet

Saturn

Capricorn Zodiac quality

Cardinal

Capricorn Element

Earth

Capricorn Positive Traits

Ambitious, Protective, Stylish

Capricorn Negative Traits

Superficial, Dishonest, Boring

Capricorn Personality Traits

Capricorns are seriously mature, and aware of how individualistic they are. They are associated with a careful approach and a very responsible attitude.

Perseverance, heart and a drive to succeed are all symbolized by these ambitious people. Fortunately, their ability to reach the top and find success in all of their endeavors is a very large aspect of their personality as well.

Capricorns add a very mature, structural support to the Zodiac. They can be hardened in their thoughts and ideas and are often extremely headstrong. Capricorns often limit, rather than expand, and that is due to their conservative nature. They believe that they can achieve everything they dream of if they just stay focused and keep their eye on the prize. They are patient and persistent, and they do not care how long it takes them to achieve what they have set out to achieve.

Capricorns are extremely difficult to pin down and characterize because they embody so many varying personality types. However, mostly every Capricorn has accepted that trial, difficulty, and even suffering are a large part of life. They are very suspicious when things are too easy, and they hate when things are going too well. They can never sit still in those situations becasue they are simply waiting for something to go wrong.

Capricorns know how power works, and the are very knowledgeable in their capacity to manifest it. They need to be careful, however, because they could end up becoming dictators rather than great leaders.

Capricorn Compatibility

Capricorns are reserved, cautious and responsible. They are best suited for a partner that will give them all of the tender love they want. However, they need to also let Capricorns responsibility flourish without reprimanding them for being too serious. A Cappy wants to be appreciated for who they are, they cannot help the fact that they are steady beings. A Taurus is a perfect match for a Capricorn, because both signs choose security over flightiness, and appreciate familiarity and comfort. A Scorpio will do just that, falling in love with how a Pisces meets their depths perfectly.

Capricorn Compatibility Chart

Capricorn and Aries Compatibility: There’s not a lot that Aries and Capricorn have in common, and both types aren’t the kind of person to slow their roll for someone else. Capricorn is more conservative and wants to protect what they put out into the world more than Aries look-before-you-leap nature allows them to. Aries’ least favorite thing in the world is feeling like someone is holding them back, so they’ll struggle with Capricorn trying to control them.

Capricorn and Taurus Compatibility: Taurus and Capricorn are natural allies. The both love to indulge in the finer things in life, are ambitious, and like to show off a little bit. They fit together well and can be a very happy “power couple”.

Capricorn and Gemini: This couple can make it work even though they aren’t naturally compatible. Gemini can draw Capricorn out of their conservative shell, and Capricorn can provide the structure Gemini needs in order to truly thrive. As long as they are patient with each other and their differences, they can make a great couple.

Capricorn and Cancer Compatibility: It will be a bit of a struggle for these two to align their values, but they’re not totally incompatible. Capricorn will seem a bit shallow to the Cancer until they explain that they like nice things because it creates a relaxing home environment (among other things). That’s a goal they are happy to work toward together and the Capricorn will appreciate how loyal the Cancer is and both will prize the relationship above all else.

Capricorn and Leo Compatibility: An unlikely pairing, but one that can create a really strong couple. Leo and Capricorn both appreciate being respected and appreciated by their peers and will work together to guard their privacy and make sure their reputations are what they desire. Neither is too wild, and while Capricorns can be prudish that generally ends behind closed doors which is all that matters to Leo.

Capricorn and Virgo Compatibility: This is a power couple in the making. Both people are ambitious, hard-working, and somewhat conservative when it comes to their personal lives. They will take awhile to open up and be vulnerable with each other, but their interests are so inline that once that happens they’ll be a perfect team.

Capricorn and Libra Compatibility: Capricorn is a sign that can balance out a lot of signs like Gemini, Sag, Aries and Leo but they can also bring out the worst in other signs like Taurus and Libra who are a bit prone to materialism to begin with. The relationship will be perfectly harmonious and they won’t fight, it’s just that as a partner they don’t make each other better people.

Capricorn and Scorpio Compatibility: This is the relationship you’re lucky to find when you’re ready to settle down. A Scorpio commits later in their life after they have had fun and want something serious and a Capricorn was simply ready for that all along. The needs of a Scorpio are a lot sometimes but if you ask a Capricorn, being understanding, observant, and giving a Scorpio space when they need it is easy. Scorpio’s personalities change frequently and what makes a Capricorn a good partner is they strive to be what a Scorpio needs all the time feeling much fulfillment and happiness out of playing that role.

Capricorn and Sagittarius Compatibility: These signs are not alike in what they value or in personality type. They truly do not like fundamental things about who the other person is or what they want and will quickly grow resentful of each other and bicker a lot.

Capricorn and Capricorn Compatibility: This is an ideal match as Capricorn’s values are so important to them that having someone with a duplicate set of ideals is their dream. They will understand each other’s wants and needs so well and work as a team toward their shared goals. They will have unquestioned loyalty and guard their relationship above all else.

Capricorn and Aquarius Compatibility: This is a hard relationship to get going as they don’t live very similar lifestyles. The one thing that could make it work is Capricorn and Aquarius’ shared interests in classic ideas — philosophy and art. If they can build a solid foundation of friendship based on common interests, they might begin to understand and meet each other’s needs.

Capricorn and Pisces Compatibility: This pair is one that probably started off as friends first. Each wondering who was gonna make the first move and when. Any relationship that starts as a friendship you know will be one that’s loyal and long lasting. It’s the relationship that comes into one another’s lives when everyone is tired of getting hurt and played. It’s the relationship that makes them feel safe and secure.

How To Attract A Capricorn

Capricorns feel most comfortable around people who are like them, so if you are trying to attract one, be sure to mirror them. Reflect their body language, their attitude, their emotion, and they will feel like you are one of them. If you dress like them, and talk like them, they will notice you even more, and they will be deeply attracted to you. However, you need to do his genuinely, for if a Capricorn feels like you are laying it on too thick, they will feel as if they cannot trust you, and they will not be able to relate to you.

How To Know If A Capricorn Likes You

If a Capricorn likes you, they will be very hot and cold. One day they will be flirting with you, and they next day they will avoid you. This is due to their overthinking, they don’t want to seem too eager, and will often choose indifference after a day of affection. Capricorns need to feel superior, and having a crush makes them feel weak. This often causes them to break things off before they even start, because they do not want to risk being hurt. However, if you make them feel secure, and show a Capricorn that you too think they are wonderful, they will stick around, and they will eventually admit their feelings for you. Pay attention to the advice you get from a Capricorn, it is a very big sign of affection. Capricorns want to make sure you know about all of their unique talents, and this is their way of impressing you. They will make eye contact with you if they are fond of you, and will often stare at you intensely if they foster feelings for you.

How A Capricorn Is In A Relationship

In a relationship, a Capricorn will take things very slowly. Sometimes, they will be painfully slow when entering a partnership, because it takes a long time for them to feel secure in their decisions. They will always take things one step at a time. Their words are sparse, but in a relationship a Capricorn loves through action, so pay attention to how they act around you. You can usually figure out what is going through their mind by assessing their body language and their effort. Capricorns are genuine, generous and sincere, and if they tell you that they love you know that those words hold a lot of meaning to them.

Ideal Date For Capricorn

Capricorns are foodies, and they love trying new places that most people have not been. Figure out what the newest openings are in town, and work your magic to get a reservation at the hottest new dining spot. Your Capricorn will appreciate the exclusivity, and they will love that they can be the first of few to talk about the experience. You’ll hit it out of the park, and appeal to a Capricorns admiration for the superior things in life.

How Capricorn Are In The Bedroom

Capricorns are very serious when it comes to sex. They obsesses about it, and they also avoid it. It depends on how they are feeling at that moment in time. They will either want lovely sex, or rough sex. They will either want a casual hookup or a steamy session with someone they are close to. They are all over the place, but they always know what they want when an opportunity presents itself, and they will turn it down if it doesn’t match their mood.

How Capricorn Deal With Heartbreak

A Capricorn will usually just accept a broken heart. They are insanely hell bent on proving themselves, so a broken heart is just another opportunity to do better and to excel in difficult situations. This is also how Capricorns distract themselves from hurtful feelings.

How Capricorn Are As Friends

As a friend, a Capricorn is very interested in filling their free time with people who hold superior jobs in society. They want friends in high places. They will always try to go to the most selective and popular places in town in order to rub shoulders with those they want to befriend. When they do make a friend that they trust, and that isn’t too needy, they often keep them for life as they are rare and a Capricorn admires that.

How To Gain The Respect Of A Capricorn

To gain a Capricorns respect, you must be confident. They are impressed by those who appeal to the inner snob they hold within them, so if you hold a high place in society you can guarantee that a Cappy will find you admirable.

How Capricorn Are When They’re Mad

Though Capricorns are very easily angered, they will never show it. It is only when they are pushed to their limits that they will finally express their aggression. They will smash things, and they will criticise until their opponent is left with emotional wounds. A Capricorn is the type of person who will say something like “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” in order to cut someone deeper than they need to. They strive to make people feel terrible about themselves when they are mad.

How Capricorn Are When They’re Sad

When sad, a Capricorn succumbs to their overthinking. They lose all of their motivation to push themselves, and they often get extremely tired — both emotionally and physically. They will grow tense, and life will not impress them until they start to feel better.

Simple Things That Make A Capricorn Happy

A Capricorn is happiest when they are rewarded for being good at something. They love getting praise.

Capricorn At Their Best

At their best, a Capricorn is a very relaxed person. They are always open to listen to people when they need them, and they will check up on friends they are worried about. They take things as they come, are very faithful and loyal, and they try their hardest to foster a lot of optimism in their life.

Capricorn At Their Worst

At their worst a Capricorn is always hiding some aspect of themselves from their friends, because they are so serious about being composed. They use silence as a weapon, and they are master manipulators. When angered they can be extremely mean, and they go to extremes when their emotions are not balanced.

What Capricorn Fear The Most

A Capricorn’s main goal is to achieve everything they have ever dreamed of. They are full of ambition and motivation, and their drive is inspiring. Underneath it all, however, they are extremely scared that they are not good enough or talented enough to meet their expectations. They often fear that no one understands what they are trying to do with their life.

Capricorn Likely Occupations

Capricorns love to be challenged, and they are always ambitious and up for a lot of work. They are determined, persistent and they will do whatever it takes to meet their potential. Responsible, serious and very aware of their surroundings, they are the most power hungry sign in the Zodiac. They enforce rules very well, and they keep schedules tight. They would make brilliant managers, bankers and they would excel in science based research projects.

Capricorn Likely Health Concerns

Capricorns are ruled by their skeletal structure. If Capricorns become too rigid in their thinking or their lifestyle, they are likely to suffer from arthritis, rheumatism, and fragile bones. They need to focus on eating healthy, and always incorporating sources of calcium into their diets.

Where To Take A Capricorn On Vacation

Capricorns don’t like to travel alone, and they often like utilizing their vacations as opportunities to reconnect with friends. Though they like to kick back and relax, a Cappy needs stimulation in small doses just in case they start to get bored of sitting around. A boat cruise would be an amazing vacation for a Capricorn, because they can soak up the sun during the day, and explore different cities and harbors when the boat anchors.

Capricorn Learning Style

Capricorns are traditionalists. They take things slowly, and learn in steps. They will excel in a good old fashioned classroom, and they will often overachieve in programs that progress them faster than their peers.

Capricorn Humor

Capricorns are the bluffing pros in the Zodiac. They can keep a straight face and then they will suddenly burst out laughing at themselves. People can’t help but laugh with them when this happens.

Favorite Pastime For A Capricorn

A Capricorn loves learning, and organizing. They also enjoy listening to music and relaxing with their most trusted friends.

What To Say To Motivate Your Capricorn

You don’t always have to be the person who is solely focused on money, and success. You have to understand that those things do not define you. You are worth so much more. You can be yourself. You can live without worrying about your next step, and the step after that. You can relax, you don’t have to push people away, they are not going to ruin your progress or hurt you. Open yourself up to love, and simplicity. You need the balance, and you flourish when it graces your life.

If A Capricorn Were…

A Starbucks Drink: Vanilla Bean Frap
A Colour: Navy Blue
A Greek God: Hermes — God of boundaries
An Addiction: Working Addiction
An Alcoholic Beverage: Dry Martini
A Drug: Ritalin
In A High School Clique: AP Scholars
A City: Montreal, Canada
A Harry Potter House: Ravenclaw
An Untranslatable French Word: Dépaysement — disorientation one feels when in a completely foreign setting
A Kiss: Lingering
A Teen Movie: The Breakfast Club
A Clothing Item: Sneakers
A Famous Landmark: Great Wall of China
A Season: Winter

You Are The Sun

Let’s play the Universe game.

I’ll be a star cloud because that’s what your presence reduces me to. A mass of luminosity and in those moments, I’m impossible to measure mathematically. Not with the naked eye, anyway. It’s simpler than that: you say my name and I’ll glow.

You can be the North Star, burning bright and hot. You’re Polaris because you stand out, because you’re a fixture in my sky. Because when I’m lost, I can find you and be okay. You’re my point of reference.

Speaking of Polaris, we can be the Big Dipper and Little Dipper, the Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, the Big Bear and Little Bear – whichever name you prefer as long as we’re partnered together in perpetuity. Our bond will know no lingual or cultural or geographic limits. No matter where two people stand on this Earth, they’ll look up and see us and know that we belong together.

We can be whichever constellations you like, at least in the beginning. In the beginning we’ll be all starburst and Andromeda and other striking sights that’ll inspire envy; but it won’t stay that way.

This is when the game loses its sheen.

Maybe we’ll stop communicating. I’ll grow distant; I’ll grow colder like Mars. And you’ll grow angrier, volatile like Jupiter. A mess of rock and metal and discarded things will separate us, an Asteroid Belt of our grievances. But I’ll overlook it; I’ll still sit by your side and will your storms to quit brewing. Anything to make them stop brewing.

Or maybe you’ll grow distant first. Perhaps you’ll become the Sun and I, the Earth — turning in on myself to revolve around you because you are the light and what keeps me warm. Me rotating around you. Your selfishness so belittling that one day, I’ll become too small to be the Earth. So you’ll take my place, and I’ll become your moon. This is a better fit because some days I’ll appear to be whole but others? I’ll look like I’m half, or a quarter, or just a tiny sliver of who I was. On rare occasions, we’ll still align. I will pass through your shadow and bask in your sunlight; my face awash in gold and red and I’ll remember the way things were. But lunar eclipses, they’re few and far between and they’re not enough to save us.

Perhaps one moon won’t be enough for you, eventually. Eventually you’ll want what the others have, you’ll want eight moons or sixteen moons or more, so you’ll become Saturn. You’ll have more rings, more moons than you’ll know what to do with. And I will have no choice but to take the hint. I’ll be Pluto: downgraded and disregarded and cast aside. “You’re not even a planet anymore,” you’ll say, and I’ll know we’ll never be the same again. I’ll feel really, really small.

Finally it’ll become too much, the heartache. So I’ll be a supernova, one who was once a star but is now explosive, exploding, exploded. And it will be spectacular, you’ll be impressed by the amount of light I had inside of me. You had no idea just how much.

But it’s of no consequence. Because you are all of the planets, and all of the moons, and all of the matter; you’re all that matters. You are the sun; and you’ll just keep spinning and spinning and spinning.

When Your Day Depends On Your Daily Horoscope

“Geminis are characterized by the twins. Their mood often changes quickly and rapidly. They have excellent communication skills, the ability to adapt to any situation. However, they must learn to speak with candor instead of simply repeating what others want to hear. Geminis have clever tongues and develop an amazing ability to obscure the facts with stimulating and imaginative chatter.”

I have the hardest time waking up in the morning. I set an alarm for every five minutes with a different alert so I have no choice other than to get up and stumble to the bathroom to start getting ready for work. Sometimes, if I am feeling proactive, the night before work I will spend the time to pick out an outfit.

Unfortunately, I am rarely proactive, and most mornings I justify staying in bed for a few extra minutes so I can contemplate what’s in my closet. I wouldn’t want to waste any valuable time standing up when I do not need to.

Another thing that I will justify staying in bed for is taking the time to check my newest horoscope app. As I am cuddled up in my soft blankets, I turn down the brightness on my iPhone so I can keep my eyes open and emotionally adjust to the reality that I need to get up soon and brave the cold. I immediately choose the “Gemini” option and wait in anticipation while my daily horoscope loads.

If your horoscope is positive, you “know” that you will have a good day.

If your horoscope seems promising, you will share it through every social media avenue imaginable and jump straight out of bed and happily get ready for the apparent great day that lies ahead. You feel like you are walking down the red carpet as you walk to you car to drive to work.

On the other hand, if it is questionable, you feel discouraged.

If your horoscope is daunting or disappointing, you immediately close the app, roll your eyes and reluctantly get out of bed. When this happens, you feel that your day is hopeless and there is no chance of anything positive happening. You then start the self-talk, “This is just an app. The words are so ambiguous and can really mean anything. It’s all about interpretation.”

You question your sanity because of the emotion that you feel after reading it.

After reading your disappointing horoscope, you realize what kind of effect that this actually had on the way that you feel in the morning and you truly realize that it is a little bit crazy.

Once you realize you are crazy — own it.

You may do something like blast Rihanna radio while you get ready for work because you feel like a character from “Final Destination” and have just cheated death. You are determined to prove that free app wrong and have a great day.

5 Heart Wrenching Realities You Experience When Dating A Cancer

As far as astrology goes, cancers usually get a rep for being sensitive and emotional, yet trustworthy beyond words. But there’s so much more to the water sign than that, especially when you add relationships into the mix.

Yes, our shyness (or extroverted introversion, if you’re like me) can make our dating game seem rusty as hell but here’s the deal. When it comes to love, Cancers are either the sweetest people you’ll ever meet … or the craziest. These five quirks just scratch the surface of what it’s like getting into a relationship with a Cancer:

1. We overanalyze the sh*t out of everything.


You can imagine what it’s like to finally score a hot date with that guy you’ve been eyeing for awhile now, only to spend the entire time psychoanalyzing everything that comes out of his mouth (sometimes without really hearing a word he’s saying). We’re really attentive when we want to be! Also, flirting with a Cancer via text can either be really sexy or the absolute worst. It’s not our faults that your abuse of emojis sends us into detective mode — what the heck does the penguin emoji mean, anyway?!

2. We can be ridiculously moody.

We’ll be the first to admit we can’t stand being seen as emotional, even though there’s definitely some truth to it. In fact, my ex can pretty much attest to the fact that I am the QUEEN of the silent treatment (oops!). When a cancer feels hurt or upset, you’ll totally feel it too: they’ll either retreat into their shell or come out swinging. But don’t take this to heart; it’s just a knee-jerk reaction to protect ourselves from getting hurt.

3. We’re stubborn as hell.

Piss us off and we’re a force to be reckoned with. Seriously, when it comes to arguments, you will always lose. It doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong; how you approach us is the deciding factor for whether you’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.

4. We love our family something fierce.

Which has both pros and cons, of course. Cancers know family will always come first so dating us pretty much means basically getting adopted into our family. So you better be prepared to love our family too or you won’t stand a chance. If my closest pals or family had serious reservations about someone I’m seeing, it’d be hard for us to bounce back from that. After all, if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Figuratively, of course.

5. But above all else, we’ll do anything to make you happy.

When we fall in love, we feel it in our skin and bones. We give our relationships everything we have, no questions asked. Even though wearing our heart on our sleeve will sometimes bite us in the end, we don’t regret those moments because they helped lead us to you. So when a Cancer falls in love with you, it’s because you’re more than worth it.

How To Make It Through This Mercury Retrograde Alive

For a week, my iPhone has been dying with 45{33a457c6865cc334f55c5749a1dfc96f7e4e401181b8d729f7e15dc6e74d29cf} battery left. Saturday, I almost lost a package in the mail. Yesterday, the computers at my yoga studio went down & they lost my account. Today, my boyfriend broke travel plans, put me through Hell & then re-planned the same trip. I feel like Teresa Guidice, post-prison sentencing: confused, anxious, unable to string together a coherent thought, and only 10{33a457c6865cc334f55c5749a1dfc96f7e4e401181b8d729f7e15dc6e74d29cf} fabulous.

WTF is going on?

On Saturday, October 4th, Mercury went Retrograde… again. It seems like every time we survive one retrograde another one starts… but this is the last one for 2014.

What is Mercury Retrograde?

The planet Mercury rules communication, travel, technology & clear thinking. Retrograde means to move backwards. The planet doesn’t actually move backwards, but to us little earthlings, it appears to do so from our perspective. And when this happens, all of the things that Mercury rules seems to go backwards as well.

This means that the universe has opened us up to more misunderstandings related to or revolving around communication, travel, technology, and clear thinking, which can lead to arguments, heartache, stress, anxiety, etc. So let’s talk about how to avoid all that.

Let’s not think of mercury retrograde as a BAD time or a time where the sky will fall… but, let’s talk about managing the effects so you don’t get thrown off-kilter. I’m going to put little swimming floaties on you today…. Next time we’ll talk about how to be champion swimmer, okay?

Over Communicate

Okay so first and foremost, I mentioned communication is a big thing that mercury oversees… it can get a little wonky in this time, so in order to combat that – let’s OVER COMMUNICATE to avoid a MISCOMMUNICATION. Ask a lot of questions – more than you normally would. Get clarity. And most importantly, avoid arguments. This is not to say you would sweep things under the rug or not stand up for yourself, but understand that everyone is experiencing the effects of MR – and if you get in an argument, in a time when communication is already challenging, you’re adding a sticky layer of mercury confusion. No matter how well you normally communicate, you might misspeak, be unnecessarily mean or critical, or (since you’re probably also not thinking clearly) steer this seemingly little argument into a much bigger issue.

And we should always practice The Four Agreements but let’s put extra practice towards agreement #1: Take nothing personally. Remember – everyone else is experiencing MR too.

Managing travel

When it comes to travel & travel arrangements, don’t let things get out of your control. Show up early for your flight, allot more time for potential traffic and expect delays. The overarching advice is to just pay more attention to the details & double check your arrangements to head off any potential travel disasters.

Avoiding Technological Disaster

I had a dream that someone dropped and smashed my iPhone last night. Like completely cracked screen, in my dream. Not awesome. As soon as I woke up, I slapped that sucker in a case. So put your phone in a good case, back up your photos to iCloud, double check you’re saving that big work file and for goodness sake, just don’t upgrade your iPhone to the new iOS. For retrograde reasons or otherwise, I just don’t think it’s a good idea. Remember, communication is wonky, so if you’re purchasing travel or technology just be 100{33a457c6865cc334f55c5749a1dfc96f7e4e401181b8d729f7e15dc6e74d29cf} confident your arrangements or warranties are 100{33a457c6865cc334f55c5749a1dfc96f7e4e401181b8d729f7e15dc6e74d29cf} on point.

Other Craziness

Allow yourself some humanity if you’re feeling out of sorts. It’s normal during this time. You’ll straighten out when Mercury goes direct. So don’t be surprised if you hear from old friends or ex-boyfriends during this period.

One thing I just learned about MR is what’s called the shadow period, meaning that the effects can start happening a week before and can linger a week after. So if things have been a little shaky for you… since before Saturday, you’re not alone. Mercury doesn’t go direct until October 26, so hang on tight.

TL;DR: just stay calm, over communicate, double check details and understand that everyone is experiencing the same effects, whether they are conscious to them or not.

For the doubters out there, I think it’s better to be conscious of potential effects the planets have on us so at least you can be mindful of how you are & what you are experiencing. We can’t just get in bed for 3 weeks and hide from the world, so we have to make mini adjustments so we can survive. So adjust, get out there, go be awesome. And may the odds be EVER in your favor.

17 Signs This Mercury Retrograde Is Really F*cking With You

1. You have found yourself in the deepest and darkest of funks. Just, what’s the point anymore? When does it end? Why are we here?

2. You are actually having an existential crisis right now. It’s in progress. You are questioning your entire existence. Nothing is okay!

3. Anything that could go wrong or wayward is doing so. You spilled coffee on your favorite shirt. You burned your tongue. You fell randomly in the middle of the sidewalk while wearing flat shoes. Pretty much all activities you could do normally are completely fucking with you right now.

4. You may have felt the desire to wear all black to match your mood. Black on black on black is the go-to during this moody emo time we’re all going through.

5. Do you feel like you have no control over your emotions? Have you turned into the most sensitive version of yourself? Has someone looked at you strangely and you overanalyzed it and were suddenly convinced they hated you? Yep, retrograde.

6. Do you just, in general, feel not like yourself? Have you stood in front of a mirror lately and asked yourself, “Who am I?” Don’t worry, it’ll pass as soon as Mercury gets its shit together.

7. You are spinning inside the perpetual cycle of self-doubt. Your thoughts are just a jumble of nonsense like: Nothing you do is good enough! You will never amount to anything! Quit everything now!

8. You’re being the biggest asshole to yourself and you don’t know why. It’s like your normal internal self has been replaced with a berating hybrid of Ann Coulter and Donald Trump and you are NOT OKAY ABOUT THIS. Take deep breaths. Those little demons will pass once Mercury straightens out.

9. Your communication skills are so off-point it’s almost like they’ve come back around full circle to on-point. (But not really, because you can’t quite get on the same page with anyone right now.)

10. You should probably just take a break from anyone you’re dating because retrograde is causing you both to turn into monsters that subsist off each other’s tears.

11. He/she not texting you back? All Mercury’s fault. Everyone is in their own world of despair right now. We’re all hurting. Nobody is reaching out. It’s bleak.

12. DO NOT MAKE ANY BIG DECISIONS RIGHT NOW. This will be the exact time that you want to quit everything, move, break-up, get married, make monumentally large decisions that you will regret the day Mercury stops going retrograde. (Ladies: do not get bangs. I repeat, DO NOT GET BANGS. PUT DOWN THE SCISSORS UNTIL OCTOBER 25.)

13. If you need to get a good cry going, do so. GET IT OUT. Your emotions are raw right now. It’s okay. You’re okay. We’re all okay. (I think? I hope? I don’t know, I’m in this retrograde, too.)

14. You may feel the desire to overindulge on basically everything. Maybe don’t do that? Just think about how you feel on a normal retrograde day. Now add a hangover on top of that. NOT WORTH IT.

15. A lot of old beliefs and feelings are coming up right now. If you’re stuck retracing the same old tired beliefs and past frustrations, chill out and don’t let it get to you too much. Retrograde by nature means a backtrack, so it’s only natural that you’re falling into a deep pit of shit you thought you’d already trudged through. The light is near, my friend!

16. If you are finding yourself questioning every decision you’ve ever made in your life and falling into a tailspin over it, yep, this retrograde has got you in its claws. You are not going to get the answers right now. Just give up and go get a cookie.

17. The best thing about retrograde is that when it rights its path, there is an insurgence of creativity and inspiration. So, while you’re wallowing inside the dark pit of your misery right now, just remember that the light in the future is bright. (But seriously, for now, just get the cookie and get a good cry going. That’s about as productive as you’re going to get right now.) GOOD LUCK.

The Magic Of Loving And Losing A Pisces

My love comes in waves. The way it’ll envelop you in an instant and leave you cold and alone the next. You’ll wade in my waters anxiously awaiting my next embrace. Trying to calculate the algorithms of my movements but you never will because I am a paradox. I operate on sole emotion and intuition. I am magic.

Your pursuit of me will be long and tiring, because my love is the kind to drag things out.
And I’ll make you fond of rejection, you’ll relish in our playful and flirtatious interactions and grow to swoon over my indifference of your advances. My kind of beauty is the kind that will make you think first. It is the kind of beauty that appeals to your mind first. The kind that will leave you in a constant state of perpetual enticement and confusion, amazement and resentment.

The feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach on roller coaster right before the big drop, my love will leave you suspended in the air indefinitely. Your friends will beg you to stop attempting such a pointless act but you won’t because my love is the kind that seduces you to be patient. You won’t ever feel like you’re being forced to wait, you’ll feel as if you’re doing it on your own accord. You’ll never come to terms with the fact that it was the essence of me that whispered in your ear to obey me. My love will force you to enjoy every morsel of attention I bestow upon you.

It’ll force you to be alone with your thoughts and ideas of me, each day of you imagining me and what my sweet surrender to you will feel like I become more and more powerful that I’m all you desire. And then one day, that will feel like sheer accident, I’ll lay my petals on your front door and give myself to you, so then when you open yourself up back to me you’ll be taken by how sweet my scent is. You’ll believe with all of your heart that it’s a result of some phenomenon and that the stars have aligned and the universe is conspiring in your favor when really it was part of my plan. My surrender to you will be sweet. I’ll reward you like the soldier you are with my

submission and I’ll fold willingly for you. My love in the palm of your hand like a butterfly, beautiful and fickle, gentle and fleeting, captivating yet faint. I will exceed your expectations and preconceived notions. I’ll let you stand in my sunlight and bathe in my warmth. You’ll live your life in beautiful moments that revolve around me and you’ll feel as if every day that went by while you waited for me was worth it.

Loving me will feel like Fall. We’ll share mornings that feel endless, laying in bed together intertwined, welcoming the cold breeze coming through the crack of the window. I’ll teach you about the stars in the sky and what the planets mean. I’ll wake you up in the middle of the cold night and drag you out of your warm bed to watch a meteor shower. I’ll bribe you with kisses and warm tea and you won’t deny me. You’ll sit there with me on the hood of my car, watching me watch the sky and wonder how you ever loved anyone else.

You’ll watch me open my heart to you like the way the leaves change colors from green to rich reds and oranges almost as if they’re mirroring my love for you filled with fire and passion. I’ll teach you how to experience. I’ll show you my love for words and I’ll recite all my favorite poems about love to you and you’ll see my eyes light from within as I become engulfed in them. I’ll sing all of my favorite lyrics to you from songs that are close to my heart. Songs you’ve never heard of songs you didn’t know existed. I’ll kiss you softly while it played and you’ll sink into me and let yourself get lost in the moment and I’ll engrave a memory so deep in your mind you’ll never be able to forget. These will be the things that haunt you later.

And then one day, in the same way winter comes without any warning, the sun will go down. And our time in the sun will end. You’ll watch the leaves fall to the ground one by one, each one falling aimlessly and helplessly to its fate. Even our ending will be beautiful. I’ll disappear gracefully from your life. I’ll make it so that you’ll never be able to find me. I’ll make it so that you question if I even exist, or if I’m a figment of your imagination. I’ll leave you only with the memories. The beautiful ones will mercilessly replay in your mind over and over. You’ll try to remember the bad things, anything to help prolong the periods of time where your mind is free from me but you’ll fail. The flashbacks will start to come and they’ll come in waves leaving you gasping for air each time one crushes you.

You’ll try to see other people and for a while it works, but then after a week of not thinking of me you’ll start to feel arrogant. And in a moment of infectious laughter with someone new you’ll throw your head back in relief, and that’s when my memory will avenge me. It’ll steal your smile and invade your thoughts again and it won’t leave you until you begin to reject the girl you foolishly tried to replace me with. You’ll be a servant to my silence again just like how it was in the beginning. And you’ll begin to resent me for ruining you for anyone else and you’ll wonder how my absence can have this effect on you. You’ll understand what magic is.

Everyone Knows Virgos Are Rapists. But Why?

I was at a bar last week, and I met a guy. He was very handsome. He had perfect hair and heterochromatic blue/brown eyes and a little scar from where his cleft lip had been repaired and one functional short leg that dangled high off the bar stool and terminated in one giant orthopedic shoe. The other shoe was normal, polished, and attached to a very handsome normal leg. In front of him was a glass, half full of something domestic. I know it was domestic because that’s all they serve at that bar. I made my way over to him and opened with my usual.

“I’m divorced.”

“What.”

“I mean I’m available,” I said, extending my hand. “My name’s Nicole.”

“Elmer,” he said.

“Well Elmer, what’s your sign?”

He smiled a bit. I could tell he wasn’t sure if I was serious. That’s what most men do when you ask them about astrology. They’ll play along, but you can tell from their initial reticence that they don’t believe in any of that “gay planet bullshit.” Science is for nerds and women, they think. You have to give them a second or two to realize your question was in earnest. Then they play along. They always do.

“Virgo,” he said. I stood up and walked back over to my side of the bar, leaving Elmer to dangle there alone like his big goofy shoe. Virgo is an immediate deal breaker for me.

All women know astrology is real. We understand the power of the planets and the stars. It’s because our bodies retain more water and our periods sync up with the moon. We can feel the astral energy. It makes us keenly aware of the fact that our personalities and actions are based on, derived from, and excused by the planets and our birthdays.

And everyone knows that Virgos are usually rapists. But why?

What is it about late August and early September that turns what could have been a calm and thoughtful Libra or an aggressive and power hungry Leo into a rapist Virgo? Is it gravity? Is it Jupiter’s pleasure moon influence on the astral chakras? Is it their sun-sign coming into the house of passion before Mercury finishes delivering its dating advice for Sagittarius? What is the factual basis behind the 100{33a457c6865cc334f55c5749a1dfc96f7e4e401181b8d729f7e15dc6e74d29cf} undeniable reality that all Virgos are rapists?

According to Zodiac-Signs-Astrology.com, a reputable source of information on astrology, Virgos are often analytical and observant, which are the two key skills involved in hunting down and raping their targets. It’s part of their star-sign house of moon dancing profile, they say. When Mars enters its third phase of retrograde motion, distinct changes occur in the way a Virgo’s mind perceives consent. Similar to werewolves, which are also real, Virgos are affected by this Moon-pleasure, and they’re literally incapable of not raping people or controlling their own actions or thoughts. It’s a real effect of Jupiter’s star-house on human behavior.

This is also what makes Virgos so fiercely independent. In the same way that literally every single Aries is good with money, all Virgos are independent people who live by their own rules – and one of those rules happens to be that it’s okay to rape. Obtaining sexual consent for Virgos is a lot like calling your parents for Scorpios. They just can’t do it, and honestly, you can’t really blame them for it. It goes against everything the moon has programmed them to think and feel.

Yes it seems like the only thing that can counter the rapeyness of Virgos is the undying dedication to justice seen in Cancers. Through their diligent work in bringing awareness to the crimes of the Virgos, the universe maintains its balance, and science prevails. Stay safe out there everyone. We can’t control our actions, that’s up to the planets, but we can certainly avoid people who were born in September.

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