[NSFW] What Your Sex Life Is Like, According To The Zodiac

Astrology is a funny thing. I personally don’t believe in it, but when I see horoscopes posted somewhere, I always check mine out. If it’s a good horoscope, I act like I just won something; If it’s a bad horoscope, I remind myself that I don’t believe in that stuff anyway and convince myself that I’m not scared at all.

The whole concept is kind of weird. Based on what time of year you were born, the stars have some sort of outcome on the events in your life. Hopefully, the stars take leap years into account, or else our calendar is going to be totally out sync with their calendar.

Well, it turns out that time of year might actually have an effect on your behavior after all… But it has less to do with the stars and more to do with how environmental conditions affect pregnancies.

Scientists aren’t sure exactly why, but there are correlations between certain seasons and certain behavior patterns. Basically, I don’t really know what they’re talking about, because I’m not a scientist and don’t understand science.

From what I can gather, and this is probably wrong, scientists are saying that astrology is completely true. Based on this, here’s how I assume each astrological symbol affects each person’s love and sex life:

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

The symbol for Aries is the ram. That pretty much says all it has to about your sex life. We’d tell you to calm it down, but that’s not what rams do. Not at all.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’re a proud, majestic lover, unless somebody waves a red flag at you. Then you go crazy. You can’t explain it, there’s just something about that makes you lose control.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

If you’re a Gemini, otherwise known as the twins, then you’re super into three-ways. It’s a hard life to manage, but if you can pull it off then you’re doing great.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

When you say you’re into long walks on the beach, you really mean it. You love to do everything — and we mean everything — at the beach. You also like to do it under the covers because they feel like a nice protective shell.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

People have always called you the leader of the pack, and it’s definitely true in the bedroom. The only problem is, most states won’t legalize polygamy, so your options on where to live are extremely limited.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

The stars just want you to be lonely, apparently. Virgo’s symbol is the virgin. One way to look at is that you’re pure. Another way to look at it is everyone else lucked out but you.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your love life’s all about balance. Just make sure you find a partner who’s also into balance, because falling during the act can cause some seriously embarrassing injuries.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your look at sex like a hunt. Which is not a good way to look at sex. If you’re a Scorpio, you might want to call the police and just give them a heads up. Seriously, you’re freaking everyone out.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Taylor Swift is a Sagittarius, so you’ll apparently never find true love. The upside though is that each heartbreak will work out very well for you financially. So well, in fact, that people will become suspicious about how broken your heart actually is.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You’re the goat, which unfortunately refers to the animal and not the “greatest of all time.” Garbage turns you on for some strange reason, but so does doing it on the side of a very steep mountain. You’re surprisingly skilled at balancing yourself in that situation.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’re the best ever and everyone wants to be with you. That’s totally what the stars say! I’m not just saying that because I’m writing this and I happen to be an Aquarius.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’re a fish. You just kind of lay there and let stuff happen to you. It’s not bad, but it’s not great; it just is.

How Every Persona Sort Says ‘I Love You’

ESTJ: Rearranges their schedule to spend time with you. Gives you a bear hug when you’re down. Helps you complete challenging tasks. Treats you to dinner or a date. Makes you feel comfortable in their home. Goes into battle for you when you are struggling. Shows up in an instant when you need them to be there the most.

ISTJ: Picks up the phone on the first ring. Fixes little things around your house. Tries out your favorite activities, because you love them. Drives you home. Spends time around your family and friends. Stays strong for you through challenging times. Reminisces about your happy memories. Lets you know that they’re not going anywhere at all.

ESTP: Picks you up and squeezes you when you are not expecting it. Gives you an affectionate nickname. Makes you laugh. Sweeps you away on an adventure. Builds you something that makes your life easier. Calls you to check in when they’re away. Proactively solves your problems for you, before you have the chance to worry at all.

ISTP: Displays protectiveness. Offers you advice. Finds little shortcuts that will make your life easier. Tinkers with your car or devices. Spends time with your loved ones. Talks out solutions to your problems. Offers you a place to stay when you need one. Sacrifices alone time to be with you, even when they’re tired and cranky.

ESFJ: Texts you back instantly. Packs you a snack. Reminds you of deadlines and appointments. Asks questions about your day. Initiates plans. Supports your interests. Adjusts their schedule to accommodate yours. Loves your loved ones like their own. Remembers every little detail about you. Spreads endless rumors about how wonderful you are.

ISFJ: Texts you when you’re having a bad day. Brings you soup when you’re sick. Remembers little details about you and uses them to make your life easier. Goes out of the way to do you favors. Gets to know your family and friends. Works around your busy schedule. Never leaves you hanging. Shows up come hell or high water.

ESFP: Cuddles you mercilessly. Stops at nothing to make you laugh. Gives you ‘just because’ gifts on random Tuesday mornings. Listens to your feelings. Shares embarrassing information about themselves to make you feel less alone. Connects you to people who can help you. Does everything within their power to make your life a non-stop adventure.

ISFP: Opens up to you. Shows you their playful side. Makes art about you. Tells others about you. Remembers little details about the time you’ve spent together. Initiates affection. Asks you how you’re feeling. Lets you take the lead, despite their independence. Makes you feel like the only person in the world.

ENTJ: Engages your interests. Asks for your opinion. Recommends things that would make your life easier. Holds you accountable to your ambitions. Supports your autonomy. Empowers you to take control. Communicates the way that they’re feeling. Admits their struggles. Supports you in rising above your own challenges, every step of the way.

INTJ: Learns about your passions and interests. Respects your independence. Asks to hear your opinion. Lends you their favorite book. Stays up past their regular bedtime talking to you. Gives you space when you need it. Tells you they’re committed to you (their word is bond). Speaks highly of your competence to others.

ENTP: Asks to hear your plans and ideas. Invites you along on adventures. Texts you constantly. Shares their struggles with you. Asks to hear your struggles. Maintains inside jokes that make you smile. Challenges your small thoughts. Encourages your big thoughts. Shows up. Never, ever stops trying to learn more about you.

INTP: Carves out time for you. Asks deep, probing questions. Studies the way you show love. Does their best to reciprocate in kind. Accepts your invitations. Shares their deepest thoughts. Listens to yours. Pours attention into helping you solve complex problems and issues. Never stops trying to understand you.

ENFJ: Asks about your passions. Sees your potential. Pushes you to reach for it. Prioritizes spending time with you. Hugs you so hard you think your ribs will crack. Empowers your strengths. Allows you to be weak sometimes. Tells you exactly what they admire about you most. Seeks to understand every detail about what makes you tick.

INFJ: Asks for your thoughts. Shares their own, no matter how convoluted. Shows you their weird side. Picks up on your excitement. Encourages your ideas. Aligns their priorities with yours. Picks you up from the airport. Learns your sense of humor. Analyzes what makes you tick. Never tires of hearing you talk about your passions.

ENFP: Plans out adventures to take you on. Listens to your pain, then makes you laugh about it. Asks for your input. Strives to understand you. Reserves judgement. Challenges your thinking. Writes you love letters. Writes you love novels. Writes you love symphonies. Shares their intimate thoughts, and hears yours. Never stops trying to light your world up.

INFP: Leaves love notes tucked away where you will find them. Listens patiently and carefully while you talk. Compliments you thoughtfully and meaningfully. Writes you into all of their art. Answers the phone late at night. Makes you laugh through your sadness. Shoulders your pain like it’s their own.

Article By Heidi Priebe

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Right here’s The Sexiest Factor About You, Based mostly On Your Zodiac Signal

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

Your loyalty. You’d do just about anything for your loved ones. You’d even die for them. You are fiercely protective and work hard to foster a feeling of safety and reliability.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

Your tenacity. No matter how hard life comes at you, you refuse to back down. You have amazing willpower and people find you a great source of strength.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

Your spontaneity. You’re always down for an adventure and to try something you’ve never done.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Your sensitivity and empathy. You have a strong desire for connection and don’t fear intimacy. Basically, you’re an adorable cuddle bug.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Your energy. You buzz with confidence and self-assuredness. Whichever room you walk into, all eyes are immediately on you. You’re undeniable.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

Your brain. Never underestimate how sexy your intelligence is.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Your level-headedness. You cannot seeing people fight and will do whatever you can to remedy the situation. You’re a natural mediator and the poster child for Give Peace A Chance.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Your wit. You are quick and a little bit dark, an intoxicating combo. You are always two steps ahead of everyone else.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

Your smile! Oh god, your smile. It could melt even iciest person.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

Your unwavering determination and ability to get things done. You set goals and achieve them. People can count on you to always go above and beyond.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Your nonjudgmental mindset. You love learning new perspectives and ideas and don’t shut people down just because they are different from you.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

Your creativity. You imagination is so powerful and inspiring. You’re able to bring entire worlds to life and it’s breathtaking.

Article By Kris Miller from http://thoughtcatalog.com

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What Every Persona Sort Does In Order To Keep away from Breaking Up With You

PSA: This article is for humorous purposes only. We understand that you’re a compassionate human being who breaks up with people fairly when you no longer love them. At least, we hope so.

ENFP: Reflects on a time in the past when the relationship was happy and thriving. Tries desperately to recreate that time. Tries again. Realizes it isn’t working. Moves to France. Claims you’ll make it work while they’re in France, you’ll just figure out the details later. Never returns from France.

INFP: Escapes into a happy fantasy of what they hope the relationship will be like in the future. Lives there for a while. Lives there for a while longer. Wakes up one morning and realizes you moved out two months ago. Adjusts the fantasy to one in which they’re happy alone.

ENFJ: Suggests an intimate vacation. Suggests couple’s counseling. Suggests moving in together. Suggests moving out, taking some time apart, and then moving back in together. Suggests letting your new girlfriend or boyfriend move in if that will make you happy, even though you’ve been broken up for two years now.

INFJ: Withdraws from the relationship to consider its state. After fourteen sleepless nights, determines that continuing the relationship is what’s best for society. Resumes the relationship as usual.

ESFP: Plans out an endless stream of fun dates, trying to get the spark back. The spark doesn’t come back. On the eighteenth relationship-renewing date, accidentally falls in love with someone else and realizes it’s over for real. Leaves you for the hot waiter while you cry into your chickpeas.

ESTJ: Outsources the breakup. Sends their personal assistant to end things with you.

ISFP: Finally feels creative again, because they’re no longer happy. Begins pulling away from you, claiming they’re busy with their artwork. Produces a masterpiece about a failing relationship. Hopes that you’ll see it and get the hint.

ISTP: Doesn’t care to deal with the confrontation involved in ending things, so just neglects the relationship until you break up with them.

ISFJ: Becomes passive-aggressive to the point where you no longer want to be with them anyway.

ESTP: Goes on a camping trip without you. Gives you a vague/indefinite return date. Forgets to return.

ENTP: Convinces you that you’re the one who’s unhappy with the relationship. Graciously lets you break up with them.

INTP: Moves out of your apartment and into their own place. Hopes you won’t notice.

INTJ: Identifies the first possible source of unhappiness within the relationship. Attempts to give the relationship a ‘tune up’ in that department. If this method fails, identifies the second possible source of unhappiness. Attempts a ‘tune up’ in that department. Repeats the process until they realize that the relationship is not a malfunctioning computer.

ENTJ: Makes a to-do list. Puts ‘fix relationship’ at the top. Accomplishes it as quickly as possible, because there are a lot of other things on the list.

ISTJ: Pushes their feelings down and continues the relationship. Divorce seems costly and impractical.

ESFJ: Stays in the relationship, unhappily, forever. It’s better than making you unhappy!

By Heidi Priebe

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INTJ Ladies: 23 Tricks to Decode their Traits and Win Them Over

Only 4 in 500 women are INTJs.  And in the Myers-Briggs world, INTJ women are the rarest breed—the rational, strategic, cerebral goddesses. And if you’re dating one of the few INTJ women, you better fold up those sleeves because you’re in for some real relationship work—or just read up these tips.

If Painite is the world’s rarest mineral, then INTJ women are painites of the Myers-Briggs personalities. They can be a painite-the-ass too *excuse the bad pun*.
Yes, being rare has its pitfalls. For one, few people know how to interact with such a person, making them quite a difficult person to decode and relate to. So read up on these behaviors and tips to see if you really have a rare INTJ gem in your hands—and what you can expect from such women if you intend to have one for keeps.
Characteristics of INTJ Women All people are unique, but understanding the characteristics of any personality can help you achieve better relationships. So here are some qualities of INTJ women.
#1 Highly intellectual. As an INTJ, they pride themselves on their mind and their intelligence. They take every opportunity to learn, broaden their knowledge, and therefore, they are insatiably curious. You would see them debating, not for the sake of argument, but for learning more. [Read: 15 highs and lows of dating someone way smarter than you] #2 Strategic. INTJ women see things from many different perspectives. They also like to cover all angles. This is why when it comes to strategy, they are exceptional. They use their cerebral minds and creative imagination to foresee potentials in the future, and therefore, plan contingencies and predict possible scenarios.
#3 Overly analytical. Because of the way their mind works, they are be critical and analytical, to the point of perfectionism. They look at a situation in so many ways, and often, they could just forget that the answers are right before their eyes.
#4 High self-confidence. While they are confident, this can carry on too far to the point of complete arrogance. Therefore, INTJ women can appear to be pretty haughty to other people, which make it hard for new acquaintances to warm up to them. [Read: 9 major tips for dating a girl who’s way out of your league] #5 Independent. This confidence, and the fact that they are highly capable, makes them impressively independent. If they have a better idea, they’ll stand up for it, despite conventions, traditions, or what other people may think. #6 Blunt. They can be so honest that they can rub people the wrong way. Between being observant and borderline critical, they can really say things that not everyone wants to hear. But you know what—they expect the same from others too. Don’t worry… you won’t hurt their feelings. Just be brave and speak your truth too. They can take it. #7 Judgmental. They believe that their higher logic is correct, and therefore, those who don’t have a similar thought process are dismissed. They don’t care much for drama or theatrics, but they’re very much open to be proven wrong. [Read: 7 seconds to impress – How to impress a girl in under 7 seconds] #8 Decisive. They make up their own mind, and therefore, they will do what they set their mind to. More often than not, it’s difficult for them to be swayed into another direction – other than their rigid decision. It only happens if they value another person’s thought process, and then they might be convinced. #9 Determined. If something piques their curiosity, they go for it. They can be hugely dedicated, and they put lots of work into getting their goal. If problems arise, they are rather undaunted, as they are confident in their skills and intelligence to handle these bumps in the road. #10 Open-minded. They have an aversion to customs, traditions, and so they tend to be liberal. Still, there’s nothing so absurd or impossible to INTJ women—as long as your ideas and suggestions are sensible and backed by logic. [Read: How to charm a girl and flatter her into liking you] What you need to know about dating INTJ women Now that you’ve figured that your girl really does have all the fittings of the real deal—one of the true and rare INTJ women—you now have to figure out how to deal with this complex creature. You especially need to know this if you really want to be with her for the long haul, despite all that frigid demeanor and blunt mouth. #1 Thinking things through—a lot. Since INTJ women are highly cerebral, expect that they will thoroughly think things through before making a move. They are not known to be impulsive, so be prepared to wait for an answer from them. Any decision would require them to analyze, strategize, and cover all angles and bases. But once they’re done, you can bet that they’re serious about it and will stick to their guns. [Read: 13 words of advice to date a fiercely independent woman] #2 Studying people. More than just gossiping, INTJ women love to study people, find out what makes them tick. Being in a relationship with one will feel like they’re constantly analyzing you, figuring you out. This brings us to… #3 Knowing you better than you do. After being in a relationship for a while with INTJ women, you notice that they have studied all there is to discover about you. They know your drives, emotions, responses, and dispositions. In short, they have figured you out and know you like the back of their hands. #4 Planning everything. As strategic that they are, they may have already foreseen the best possible scenarios before agreeing to your date. Heck, they may have even memorized the menu to where you’re going. And if something goes awry to ruin your plans, you can be sure they won’t like it one bit. [Read: 15 signs you’re with a high maintenance woman] #5 Finding mind games sexy. They get turned on by intellectual conversations. They find it sexy if you challenge their philosophies with your own. And often, they even like the mental “orgasms” of talking for hours compared to the downright sensations of being physical. #6 It’s hard to buy them gifts. INTJ women are picky, and so it’s hard to buy them gifts. They don’t like the usual chocolates and flowers, and things that they don’t really have any use for. Your best bet? Either you find them something functional, something they can eat or drink *wine or a fancy dinner are safe choices* or just go ahead and ask them for a wish list. #7 Loving her alone time. More than any other type, INTJ women need their alone time free from distractions and the company of other people. In fact, they’re more in their element when they’re alone. [Read: How to stay in love with a girl without smothering her] #8 Preferring it point-blank. And by this, we mean your opinions. Say it straight, and they will respect and appreciate you more for it, even if they don’t really agree with you. Therefore, throw aside your passive-aggressive tendencies if you really want to win them over. #9 Definitely unemotional. While INTJ women have deep and powerful emotions just like any person, they don’t let it bubble over as often as most people do. They know full well that emotions can’t be trusted, and therefore, they don’t let these dictate their actions. #10 Utterly frigid and cold. Since they are not driven by their emotions and whims, they may come off as cold, and even cold-hearted. Give them flowers? They’ll accept it, sure, but don’t expect them to fall head over heels for you with just a few romantic gestures. [Read: Dating game – Type A vs. Type B personalities] #11 But once they feel it… Don’t get them wrong, though. They are enormously passionate about things that matter to them most. Whether it is literature, politics, philosophy, or just their favorite television series they have passion. You’ll be lucky to find them with those rare bursts of emotions, and once you see these, it’s like watching fireworks—if not a supernova. #12 They’re hella loyal. Because of these strong emotions, INTJ women are highly invested in a relationship once they find the right person for them. Even if they’re not masters at displaying love and affection, they display strong devotion and loyalty to their partners who are lucky to have them for mates. [Read: 7 dumbest mistakes that men often make in relationships] #13 She would need closure. INTJ women absolutely abhor it when a relationship abruptly ends. So if you leave them with little warning, they would feel so disoriented because it’s like a piece of a puzzle has been lost. They would want to understand what happened and why and how things went wrong. Otherwise, they’ll find it so hard to move on.]]>

Learn how to Entice Every Myers Briggs (MBTI) Sort

  There are times when you just can’t help but be completely enamored with someone. If you know their Myers Briggs type, we might just be able to help you woo that special someone. ?

INFJ

Be a complete mystery that is in desperate need of solving. Be a contradiction and continuously throw them off, they will feel compelled to figure out just what is going on with you. Speak in metaphors and bring up interesting and in depth topics. Be kind but somewhat wounded, so that they feel the need to shelter you.

ENFJ

Act like you are troubled and prone to bad decision making, yet show them glimpses of your deep and tortured soul. They will be eager to figure you out and cure you of your scars. Act like you are independent, but secretly want someone to take care of you.

INFP

Initiate but don’t be overly aggressive so that you push them away. It is in some ways like diffusing a bomb, or catching something illusive and rare. You must show them parts of yourself that are deep and intense, but almost act as if you have secrets that you only plan to share with someone very special.

ENFP

Act slightly interested, but also uninterested. Make them see just how desired you are by others, but as if you are completely unattainable. Go back and forth from treating them like a friend to treating them like a dating prospect. The challenge will excite them and make them want to fight for you. Show them that you are unique and willing to accept their odds side.  

INTJ

Show them that you are capable of keeping up with them intellectually (for the most part). Keep up on interesting topics and provide them with valuable conversation. Be honest with them and prove that you are someone who can be trusted. INTJs admire independence, so being self-reliant will draw them to you. Showing passion for things in your life is important, and an ability to live up to their exceptionally high standards.

ENTJ

Be willing to withstand their sometimes overwhelming personality. Prove to them that you are a loyal and capable person, who is extremely mature. Show them your proven history of dependability. Emotional stability is something ENTJs are drawn to, so crying like a baby constantly probably isn’t the best idea.

INTP

Initiating is a must. INTPs are not usually the most forward types, so you have to take some of the initiative or else nothing will ever happen. Being too forward will make them distrust you, so you must play the appropriate tug of war. If you are willing to express your interest, but also give them space, you are good to go. Be someone who they can bounce their ideas off of, and don’t ever shut them down. Be capable of expressing your opinion, and prove that you are interesting. They may be challenging to figure out, so you have to be willing to make the first move.

ENTP

Somehow show them that you are desirable and illusive. Be popular and likable to others, but also be unique. Be challenging and constantly keep things fresh, or else the ENTP will become bored. Don’t make it too easy for them, constantly prove yourself to be a challenge. Be prepared for constant debating, and don’t get emotional if they push all of your buttons.  

ISTJ

Express a desire to learn and share your passions with them. Be willing to be on time and respect when they set up dates for you. Showing that you are slightly scattered will definitely give them a strong desire to help you get your life together, but too much will turn them off. Be in tune with emotions and be willing to be more forward, so that they do not have to.

ESTJ

Appear completely helpless and in need of their guidance and direction. Stroke their egos just the right amount, and then make yourself seem disinterested. They enjoy a challenge, and want someone who is desirable to others.

ISFJ

Act like an outgoing and enthusiastic person, with a very big heart. Express that you NEED them to help get your life together, and that they are the only person who could truly do the job correctly. Be warm and affectionate and forward with your attraction for them.

ESFJ

Be somewhat illusive and enigmatic. Show that you are capable of being popular and well-received by your peers. Express a warm and deeply caring side, hidden beneath your thick shell. Make sure that you are independent but also in deep need of someone to care for you properly. Open up to them and make sure they realize that you don’t open up easily. They will be enthused at the chance to be your caretaker and confidant.  

ISTP

Be impressive but in a somewhat modest way. Be forward enough so that they don’t have to, but give them plenty of space as well. Show that you have a life and hobbies of your own, so that they won’t feel like you will be constantly clingy. Have a natural sexual energy that just draws them in.

ESTP

Show that you are constantly willing to take risks and enjoy experiencing new things. Play the appropriate games with them to keep them intrigued and on edge. If they feel like you are too easy to get they will quickly lose interest. Constantly be just out of reach, while at the same time stroke their ego.

ISFP

Be thrilling and unique, with a somewhat complex side to you. Find out what they are passionate about and take an active interest in those things. Express your interest in them, but then step back and allow them the chance to come after you.

ESFP

Be popular and well dressed. Constantly appear put together and like you have everything all figured out. Be willing to take charge and show them how capable and strong you are. Don’t try to take away their attention, an ESFP hates being ignored.]]>

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